The Pain of Grief

Methods to free ourself from the mental pain of losing the things and people we love
Problems such as grief – the suffering associated with being separated from the people we love – do not exist outside the mind. The real nature of all these problems is our unpleasant feelings, which are part of our mind. Our problems develop only when we experience unpleasant feelings. In response to these painful feelings we normally become unhappy, depressed and angry. Since it is impossible to stop unwanted things happening to us we need to find a different way of relating to them when they happen.

All our problems – our unpleasant feelings – come from the delusion of attachment or uncontrolled desire. When ever we lose our friends, job, status or reputation and so forth, we experience grief and many difficulties. This is because of our strong mental attachment to these things. If we had no such attachment, there would be no basis for experiencing suffering at their loss.

Attachment is an unrealsitc way of viewing other people and things, based on the desire for our own happiness. Pure love however is unmixed with attachment and stems entirely from a concern for other’s happiness. It never gives rise to problems but only peace and happiness. At Heart Jewel Centre we teach many methods for recognizing, reducing and finally abandoning these attachments in our mind. By putting these methods into practice we can gradually remove all traces of attachment from our relationships and improve our love until it becomes pure.